The Evidence of God's Grace

Monday, May 23, 2011

Day 36 of Hyperbaric Dive

Coagulatio IV

The Beloved’s Word,

One and the same,

Wanders around

Looking for incarnation.

A disembodied Word

Is of no use to anybody.

We must put flesh around it,

Put skin around it.

-Garth Stanton

from “Skin”

What am I called to incarnate today?  JOY!!  This morning as I am watering the garden, I decide to gather a resplendent bouquet of fragrant pale pink roses and give them to the staff at AdvancedHyperbaric Recovery of Marin, in thanks for all their support as I enter my 8^th and final week of Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy treatments. 

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Day 37 of Hyperbaric Dive

Nigredo VI

What negligence, what delay is this?

Run to the mountain

and get rid of the slough

which keeps you from seeing God.

-Thomas Merton

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Day 38 of Hyperbaric Dive

Prima Materia I

There was silence;

There was chaos,

There was a voice.

A mind went forth to form worlds:

Now order reigns where

chaos once held sway.

-The Talmud

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Day 39 of Hyperbaric Dive

Alchemical Gold V

 

Invoke the One,

desire the One,

search the One.

See the One—know the One

and affirm that it is One.

Whether at the beginning

or at the end,

all of this is only

one single thing...

-Fariduddin Attar

Friday, May 27, 2011

Day 40 of Hyperbaric Dive

Nigredo IX

Ashes of paper, ashes of a world

Wandering, when fire is done:

We argue with the drops of rain!

Until One comes Who walks unseen

Even in elements we have destroyed.

Deeper than any nerve

He enters flesh and bone.

Planting his truth, He puts our substance on.

Air, earth and rain

Rework the frame that fire has ruined.

What was dead is waiting for His Flame.

-Thomas Merton

Annunciation

It’s my last day of Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy, and I’m feeling a bit fragile in heart and body.  I recall an image from last night’s offering of dreams: 

I see a veiled Iranian woman sitting offstage during a Persian dance performance.  The veiled woman transforms into a butterfly before my eyes, rippling through the air to hover before me. Through gossamer wings I hear the woman’s voice clearly, telling me that she is cold and hungry.  I know this delicate and beautiful creature has come to me for care and protection.

I am that butterfly, resplendent with burgeoning life, yet still in need of special attention and care.  My body is fatigued this morning, although I slept well.  The cheeks of my face are peppered with pimples, like some middle-aged adolescent.  Another wave of detox malaise, I suppose.  Inwardly, I feel disappointed.  I had hoped to be feeling more robust on my last day of treatments.  Once again, I am called to be loving and compassionate with myself, and to trust the process of healing, which certainly will continue beyond this day.

I rest in bed all morning, which helps.  I talk with Ursula Gilkeson, the wonderful energy healer and homeopath I’ve been working with during the past two months.  Ursula has been an integral part of my healing team, and this morning she is very affirming of the transformative symbol of the butterfly in my dream, and how my emotional and physical body are still in a deep process of clearing.  After connecting about 10 minutes on the phone, we hang up, and I receive a long-distance healing from her.  In minutes I can feel my body suffused with a golden light.  As I emerge from the healing about 45 minutes later, I feel recharged and at peace.

The early morning fog has given way to a brisk Spring sun as I drive across the Richmond Bridge to Advanced Hyperbaric Recovery of Marin.  I arrive promptly at 2PM, just like I have every weekday afternoon for the past two months.  I grab a clipboard with my daily symptom questionnaire, and sit down for a couple of minutes to fill it out.  Lorenzo Alviso, one of the two main Hyperbaric technicians who has been shepherding me on this 40-day descent, walks into the reception area with the broad, welcoming smile I have come to love, and announces that my chamber is ready for me.

With my daily chart filled out, I take my sheet and walk to the back where the three oxygen chambers await patients like me who have somehow been ravaged by illness or injury.  I hand my sheet to Ruth Walker, the other Hyperbaric technician who has kindly guided these treatments.  “How are you feeling?” Ruth asks me.  “Not so hot today,” I admit.  “It’s not what I’d hoped for on my last day of treatment.”

I get changed into my cotton tunic for the last time, and climb into the trusty chamber of healing.  I start to weep, in relief, in gratitude, in a tender sense of the vulnerable passage that continues.  As the chamber fills with oxygen and comes to full pressure, my sadness abates as I soak in the nourishing airs.

The choice for my last “HBOT Video Therapy” is Bruce Almighty, starring Jim Carrey as a disgruntled feature news reporter who cries out to God for a sign that He (or She!) exists.  God shows up as Morgan Freeman, immaculately dressed in a white suit in abandoned white warehouse.  Bruce blames God for the state of his life, and God says, “I’ll give you my powers, and let’s see if you can do better.” 

Mayhem ensues in a series of local and global catastrophes as Bruce uses his God-given abilities for selfish, ego-driven ends, ultimately causing his girlfriend to leave him.  In the end, confronted by God for the mess he has created, Bruce has a change of heart, and for once, selflessly prays that his girlfriend find love and the happiness she deserves, even if it’s not with him.  God replies in Morgan Freeman’s husky voice, “Now, that’s a prayer!” and with and act of grace, gives Bruce another chance at life, and at recovering the love he thought was gone forever.

The movie comes to a happy ending as the pressure in the chamber decreases.  It’s time for me to emerge.  Ruth opens the hermetically-sealed door with a smile and I go get changed.  When I come out, I feel emotional again.  How do I say goodbye to this place, to these people who have been so kind and supportive in my healing?

Ruth hands me a farewell card from her, Lorenzo and the rest of the staff, along with a small bottle of Cell Food as a gift, to help continue the process of oxygenation and detoxification.  I thank Ruth for all their support.  “Everyone has been great here…” I say, feeling the tears swell my throat.  “We’ll miss your smiling face,” Ruth says to me in response.

I’m really feeling ferklempt now (for those of you who don’t know Yiddish, it means “choked up.”)  I sling my purse on my shoulder, and walk out to the reception area, to say goodbye to Lorenzo.  Tears well up in my eyes as I express my appreciation for his sincere smiles and encouragement at every step of this treatment.  We talk for a few minutes about how the oxygen will continue to do its healing work in the coming weeks.  I have promised to give them a testimonial about their wonderful clinic, but I suggest that we wait a month or two, until my IV chelations for heavy metal toxicity are finished.  We’ll connect again down the line, but for now Lorenzo wishes me a good weekend.

I turn to go, and as I make my departure from the clinic, my heart breaks open and tears spill down my face.  I walk into the sunny courtyard where each day I rest after the treatments and have a snack of fruit and nuts.  I sit on a bench and gaze at the watercolor of carmine colored roses that have come to full blossom during the past two months, and are now shimmering in the breeze.  I pull out the card that Ruth and Lorenzo picked out for me.  On the card is a cartoon drawing of two small children holding a fishing line that has hooked a huge rainbow.  The message says:

We believe in rainbows, happy endings, dreams-come-true…

So we cast a line into the sky especially for you.

I’m so touched by this, I start to sob.  Two months ago the staff at Advanced Hyperbaric Recovery of Marin were strangers to me.  Now they will live in my heart forever.  As I gaze up through my tears to the canopy of fluttering leaves above me, I silently say, “They are the evidence of God’s grace in the world.”  Yes, the Hyperbaric Oxygen treatments are amazingly effective and gentle, but without the love, how could a true and lasting healing occur?  I’m so grateful for the infinite love an compassion I have received at Advanced Hyperbaric Recovery.  It has made all the difference, helping me move from a place of feeling ravaged by chronic illness, to the promising beginnings of a lasting health and vitality.

Baby Colette and the Butterfly

“Coagulatio IV,“ ”Nigredo VI, “ “Prima Materia I,” “Alchemical Gold V”, and “Nigredo IX,” 4x6” collages on paper from The Oracle of Alchemy, ©2006-2011 by Colette de Gagnier.  To order prints from this series, please visit Alchemy of the Divine and Colette's Visionary Art Gallery at MysticAlchemyDesign.com

To learn more about the healing work of Ursula Gilkeson, please visit www.ignitingthelight.com

To learn more about Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy and the kind staff at Advanced Hyperbaric Recovery of Marin, please visit ImproveHealing.com.